Becoming Left-Handed

Learning To Dance

"If I get to heaven, the first thing I'll do
Before I meet my Maker,
I'm gonna ask around for you."

These are the opening lyrics to our first dance song, "Asking Around For You" by Joe Bonamassa.  Last night, we had our 5th dance lesson to learn how to rumba to this melancholy, sultry love song.  We are making a lot of progress because we're almost to the point where we can dance without counting out loud. Our teacers keeps telling us it will soon be second nature to us to execute the steps.  We'll see.  We still have 6 weeks to practice ;-)

For me, here's what dancing lessons really teach you.  They teach you to stop concentrating and hear the music.  That's hard for people like me, who work too much and strive so hard to do everything right.  It's much more fun to let the music move your feet and sway your hips, and it looks much more natural.

I'm learning to follow more and lead less. Another hard lesson for a first-born alpha female! I'm reminded of my improv comedy lessons (taken for work, believe it or not) where we learned to wait for what the other person will say, accept it and then return it. I have to wait a tiny second for Steve to choose and lead the step and then follow accordingly. This split-second is an eternity for me, but I'm learning to wait patiently for it. On the other hand, Steve's learning to lead more. I think this is also an important but difficult lesson for him, too.

We're learning, as a couple, to watch each other and trust each other.  I have to trust Steve to hold on during that dip, and he has to trust me to get back in time from those undearm turns.  Not to mention the inherent trust when you're dancing backward in someone's arms. 

Also, I hope we are both learning to loosen up and have fun, and not worry what people think when they're watching us.  We'll find out tonight, I think, because we're going to see Joe Bonamassa live and we'll be testing our moves if we can find room in the crowd.

Here's hoping we don't break a leg! 

We're Official

Steve and I got our marriage license yesterday.  What a fascinating, sobering, joyous, and ridiculous experience.

First of all, who goes to the County Courthouse?  Not us, apparently, as evidenced by the fact we couldn't find it and then spent 15 minutes looking for a parking spot before settling on a parking garage where you are forced to drive on the left-hand side and every direction is marked "Do Not Enter."

I couldn't help but wonder, when is the government of the esteemed State of Ohio going to enter the 21st century?  They still haven't figured out a better way to ask the whole kissin' cuzzins question than to say, "Do you swear and affirm that you are no closer kin than second cousins?"  Okay for us, but the Spanish-speaking couple next to us had to wait while their interpreter figured that one out after several tries.  The other couple in the room was carrying their newborn, and I thought how lucky and spoiled we are.  We are starting our marriage under prime conditions - no language barrier other than the ones we create, and no children yet. 

Then, we get to the window, and find ourselves with a very nice clerk whose last name, and I am not kidding, was Loveless.

I signed my own name on the application and thought, "This is one of the last times I'll sign Martha Bledsoe."  I looked over at Steve and felt so glad to think that soon I will have his name, and we'll be a legal family, and even the great (directionally-challenged, old-fashioned) State of Ohio will recognize our love and our life together.

Inviting Lessons

I stopped at the post office this morning on my way to work and handed over almost 90 square, glittering envelopes.  The clerk was not in a nice Monday morning mood, so she sort of laughed at my efforts to pass each envelope over the counter, and told me I should have just given her the shopping bag full of our invitations.

She obviously didn't realize what was really in that bag. Those envelopes are the product of MONTHS of dreaming, concepting, designing, printing, editing, folding, bow-tying, and stamping. Not to mention the debating, laughing, almost crying, exulting, and kissing that went on as we passed (or were passed by) each milestone. 

The invitations are beautiful and I can't wait for everyone to receive them and see for themselves. But really, they have taught us several very important lessons.

One - Steve and I have very different strengths. I like to concept, sketch, and figure out the pieces.  Steve likes to take my very rough ideas, refine and write them, and then we both edit together. Finally, it is Steve who, with painstaking patience and determination, brings our ideas to life on paper. He cuts meticulously, he scores perfectly, and he doesn't stop until the job is done to the tiniest detail. By the end, I am reduced to hovering pointlessly and asking how I can help, when we both know that the best way I can help is to let Steve work his magic while quietly dreaming up the next new concept.

Two - That's the correct number of scoops of coffee for our 3-cup coffee press. On its inaugural morning, Steve made coffee with 3 scoops of grounds. While the burst of energy helped get most of our invitation maps done in record time, it also caused a full-out panic attack when we mixed up the paper on 20 of our precious pieces.

Three -  Everyone will look at these pieces differently. We have shown the invitations to a few close friends and gotten very varied reactions - some see an antique/vintage theme, others see just the color theme, and still others find the hidden word clue in the overall concept. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. What I see, when I look at them, is teamwork and talent from no fewer than 8 people!

Four -  We have the best friends in the world. Our design idea came from a great friend, Barce. Our map came from the talent of another good friend, Jeff. The calligrapher referral came from another friend at work.The printing services came from a friend of Rachel's. Rachel herself helped apply hundreds of stamps and tie many bows. She even consoled a very disappointed bride who realized that her original idea of sending a wine charm in each envelope would actually rip the paper and ruin the invitations.

We're glad the invitations are on their way, and even more glad about all the wonderful things we've learned along our way. I wonder what our programs and place cards will teach us?

Captain's Chocolate

Things do work out.

When you invite 200 people to a destination wedding in a town of 725 residents, 3 states away, you run into some very interesting challenges - not the least of which is, where will everyone stay?

Last December, we asked our wedding party to book their rooms and did our best to make suggestions where they should stay.  We asked our moms to both book at a charming little place called the Captain's Cottage.  When they tried to make the arrangements, they were met with a confusing response.  Captain's Cottage was going through some business changes and couldn't guarantee they'd still be taking guests in October.  So the moms moved on to other accommodations.

This week, in advance of sending our invitations, we have been calling around Hammondsport again to see which B&Bs still have rooms.  I called the Chamber of Commerce as well, to thank them for the 75 maps they sent us and inquire about additional rooms.  They mentioned we should re-contact Captain's Cottage.

Turns out that Captain's Cottage has changed from a full-service B&B to a nightly room rental with a Chocolatier on the main floor!  Which is absolutely perfect, because Steve and I are still searching for a supplier of the chocolate truffles we want to serve in lieu of cake at the reception!  And, now that our moms are comfortably situated with their families in other places, we can recommend the Captain's Cottage to other guests.

What a sweet ending! 

Reception Rehearsal

Despite a series of travel delays, Steve and I went to New York this weekend for a couples' shower with his family. My mom went with us, and we all had a wonderful time visiting with family and friends. The party was almost like a mini wedding reception - it was a blur of hugs, well wishes, toasts, cake-cutting, singing and meeting new people. 

Steve's mom decorated the entire party in grapes and purple and white, which brought the winery theme into our special day. We even got some great grape gifts (say that 3 times fast) that fit right into the wine motif. But ultimately, my favorite part had to be the laughter and discussion about all the things that inevitably happen at Hansen family weddings - sounds like it's going to be quite a party!

Interestingly enough, Steve's family also can forecast the weather. They have promised October 13 will be a beautiful evening with a full moon ;-)

The wives in the group shared some pretty funny wedding stories, like the groom who didn't get any pants with his tux rental, or the 12-year-old nephew who drank to each toast with all the adults.

Somehow the party made October 13 feel even closer as we heard about everyone's travel plans and excitement for our wedding. It's hard to believe it's just 61 days away now and that we're in the final stretch.

Charitable Giving

All my friends will tell you that before I got engaged, I was highly and vocally opposed to the notion of wedding showers and wedding gifts. I wanted my bridal showers to be "no gifts," and even wanted to create a scholarship fund at Syracuse University for people to contribute to, rather than buying us gifts for the wedding. I was a philosophical wreck the week we registered!

I just felt that older couples (like Steve and me) who had lived on their own, established households, and even lived together, hardly needed new cookware to start a marriage.

And yet.

I just had a wonderful, gorgeous bridal shower last weekend, and I felt very honored and special to receive the thoughtful, generous gifts from family and friends. I told Steve afterward that it's bizarre, but I honestly feel the "new things" surrounding us are highly symbolic of the new stage of our relationship. I do feel like we're starting our "new home" even though it's the same house it was last week. 

It feels good to switch from his things or my things to our things, the ones we liked and chose together.

It seems I'm not the only bride who feels this way because the Wedding Channel has attached a charity to their online registries. Starting today, if you place an order from one of our registries through weddingchannel.com, they will donate a portion of the purchase to America's Second Harvest, our charity of choice!

Now that's a gift that keeps on giving.

Late Night Press Check

Last night at 10:00, Steve and I went to the printer to look at our proof for our wedding invitations. I figured it would be a five-minute "check." We stayed almost an hour.

Bill, our printer, walked us through the printing process in great detail, showing us the press machines and the ink rollers and the corner-rounder that will all make our invitation come alive.  It's amazing when you start to learn about the water that off sets the oils in the inks, the cornstarch that helps dry them so the pieces won't stick, and enormous size of the paper rolls that they use. 

We also compared and changed a few color elements, added a layer of patterning to our thank-you cards, and changed the background percentages on the RSVP card.

Bill is planning to enter the invitation in some awards shows, so that was pretty exciting to imagine. 

Next week, we finish and print the custom-designed map insert, pick up the envelopes from the calligrapher, buy a bunch of stamps, and then have a several-hour assembling session to get each little invitation packet ready to go in the mail by August 13.

This has to be my favorite part so far.  Tablecloths and centerpieces are fun, but the written, printed word has always held such a fascination for me.  We asked Bill if we can keep our ink plates that will actually be used to create the invitations.  He laughed and insisted we wouldn't want them, as they'll be all messy at the end of the process.  I told him he has no idea how nerdy we are about this stuff and we'll happily frame the messy plates with ink stains as a reminder of how much fun we had with this process!